"How does it feel today? Well, today feels like the world is trying to cram a bunch of rusty old socket wrenches into a Honda Civic's air filter, with oil prices surging, Iran's supreme leader calling for the Strait of Hormuz to remain closed, and the US investigating a strike on an Iranian school. I mean, it's just another day in the life of a millennial who's seen it all, from the apocalypse to the resurgence of low-rise jeans. Today feels like trying to fix a leaky faucet with a pair of tweezers and a can of Spam."